Friday, July 22, 2011

I want more....

I am sitting in my house and it is all quite except for my sons TV in his playroom, sounding off the educating Umi Zumi! 

I am not sure how to lead up to it so I am just going to spit it out....I am bored.  Not just at this moment but in general...with my life.  I am tired of just existing...I want to do more, be more, live more.  I want to be able to go into my 10 year high school reunion coming up and when someone asks me, "hey so what do you do for a living, what have you been up to?"  I want to be able to give them my answer and it mean something.  Now please don't get me wrong, I love love love my son and am grateful to have a job to go to each and everyday...but I just feel like I am existing, going through the motions, day in and day out and not truly living.

I heard a man the other day say "If you want more out of life you have to live more"....It struck me to the core.  He is can't expect to get more out of life if you don't actually get out there in it and live it to the fullest.  I feel like I have been incomplete so to speak....I know I need to put God more in my life.  That is just a super given and I know part of doing that is to surround myself with people who want the same thing.  I desperately am in need of a good support system to keep pushing me along Gods path. 

I trust that God has a reason for the path in which my life has gone down but I think I have been waiting for God to just plop in my lap what it is exactly that I need to do.  Goes to show I am  a lot more lazy than I thought.  It is not up to God to just lay it out for me on a silver platter and I know if I ask then I need to open my eyes and heart so I can actually hear him. I am just at my breaking point.  I did not come this far in my life to just have gotten by ...instead of soaring by experiencing new heights.

I am ready for a change....a good change....a change for the better.